What in the hell is a heat index

posted in: Random Stuff | 0


It. Is. Hot.

It’s not just “man, it’s hot out here”. It’s “if I stay outside more than 3 minutes I’m putting myself in danger” hot. Its the type of hot where when you stand up from the patio chair you wonder if you peed your pants and then you realize that, no – the reason your undies feel wet and your shorts are sticking to your butt and thighs is not because of a bladder control problem, it’s because it’s so stinking hot your thighs are actually sweating that much. Butt crack sweat is a gross feeling and I’m not happy about it.

Oklahoma is experiencing a record number of days over 100 degrees. Some areas are at 39 days and counting of 100+ temps with not much relief in sight. And what in the hell is a heat index anyway? FYI- it’s the actual temperature plus relative humidity equals what it feels like to your body. In other words it may be a mere 101 but feels like 121.

Why the heck am I writing about the temperature? Because it has consumed me. It’s been so dang hot for so long I have convinced myself that it’s always going to be this way. We have finally pumped enough pollution and fossil fuels into the atmosphere that we have sealed out fate. I can’t see past the heat waves.

I imagine mother nature up there (wherever “there” is) and she is pissed. She’s had enough of our selfish, air conditioned, SUV driving behavior and she’s teaching us a lesson. “Listen up you ungrateful brats – you made your bed now melt in it!”.

Now, I know that it’s not going to be 106 forever. We’re not in a post-apocalyptic-global-warming-water-world world just yet. It’s just hard not to think that the rest of the country is in the middle of a heat wave too. It’s hard not to think that there may never be snow again when going to the grocery store may cause dehydration.

Hopefully in December I’ll be writing about the record snowfall. Until then, I’m praying for rain.

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