Who knows what the hell goes through the mind of a 3 year old. I many not be able to decipher this spider web of consciousness but at least it’s entertaining. For your reading pleasure actual random thoughts from my 3 year old.
“Tomorrow I’m going to somebody’s house and open presents and see if there is a skate board in the present.”
This statement came out of the blue while driving home from the grocery store. I have no idea what prompted it. I don’t know whose house he thinks is going to just show up at and they will have presents (notice the plural form of the word. Not just one present but multiple) for him. I enjoy his naive optimism that 1) random strangers will have presents waiting for him, 2) said present will be a skate board and 3) he will automatically know what to do with a skate board. I’m going to play along with this little dream of his just so I won’t have to be the one to buy him a skate board.
“This shirt is making me fuzzy.”
Clearly the adjective he was searching for wouldn’t come to mind. When in doubt about how you feel, fuzzy will suffice. I like it. I’m going to start using that and then maybe it will become a thing. i.e. “I drank too much and now I’m all fuzzy.” OR “That idiot wouldn’t shut up and made a fool of herself. She’s so fuzzy.” OR “What the fuzz?!” OR “Don’t talk to me in the morning until I’ve had coffee; I’m way too fuzzy.” See all the uses?! I think my 3 year old is on to something here.
“Mommy, I like to talk to tomatoes.”
Oooooookay. Is this a I see dead people type of situation or more of a Harvey thing? Maybe instead of a large white rabbit he has found an invisible friend in a talking tomato. Fine, just as long as he doesn’t start talking to me with his pointer finger and using a super creepy voice.
Harry: “Last night I was outside eating apples and a white bird swooped down and took my apples. It had a beak and is the kind that eats fish and sounds like this…kwaaaaaaaaa.”
Me: “Are you talking about a seagull? And when did this happen?”
Harry: “Yes! It was a seagull. He took my apples last year.”
What a little liar. First of all there are not any seagulls near our house. Also, I know for a fact that he was not eating apples outside last night or any other previous night. Obviously he doesn’t know how to lie well because his story changed pretty quick. Last night or last year, buddy? When your going to weave a web of lies get your story straight.
This is just the tip of the iceberg. Last week there was something about bears not liking water and yesterday it was imperative that we find a shark in the house. We don’t have any shark toys.
I’ll keep you posted of any more gems that randomly come my way.