During a close election, even the most well-mannered citizen can become a little insane. That is why I have come up with the Responsible Citizen Pledge to help keep us all on track.
Please repeat after me.
Should my candidate win:
I promise not to gloat or become overly boastful or rub the other 50% of the population’s nose in their misery. I will try and remember that they love our country too and will treat them the way I hope they would treat me if the outcome had been different.
I promise to watch cable news with a critical mind. I promise not to believe every word I hear or read but rather to check facts before “re-posting”.
I promise to not post the following on Facebook: “Nanny nanny boo boo. Stick your head in doo doo. If you do, I don’t care, I can see your underwear.” Resorting to taunts and jabs at those who lost is childish and I will refrain from such posts, “liking” these types of posts or engaging the “friend” in the comment section.
In other words, I promise to not be a self-righteous-pompous-know-it-all jackhole. Nobody likes a cocky winner.
Should my candidate not win:
I promise not to wring my hands, proclaim the winning candidate the antichrist and convince myself and others that we are surly in the “end times”. We are not in the “end times”.
I promise not to threaten violence against any person or their property who voted for the winning candidate.
I promise not to post on Facebook anything that would imply those who voted for the winning candidate are un-american, anti-God, not Christian or any other anti-“love your country” statement. I will remember that 50% of the population voted for the winning candidate and that means some of my friends, family and loved ones probably voted for him.
I promise not to vow to move to Canada or any other foreign country. It’s a veiled threat and no one will believe me as I own a home and it will never sell in this market. Plus it’s just plain stupid. I will remember that the United States is still the top 1% of the world economy no matter who is president and no other country will be able to meet my consumerism needs.
In other words, I promise not to be an annoying-whiny-complaining bitch. Nobody like a sore loser.
No matter what the outcome I will remember that I am blessed to live in a country that allows every person the right to vote. A country that encourages free speech and freedom of religion. Just because I have the right to free speech and free press does not give me the right to be a jerk. I promise to love my neighbor as myself.