Medieval Fair 2015

Medieval Fair 2015…it rolled into town with its tents, camels, jiggly coin belts and fairy wings.  Then in a cloud of dust stirred up by pony hooves, jousting contests and mixed with perspiration it was over leaving behind a field of turkey legs, broken arrows and Dippin’ Dots cups.

The Medieval Fair has been my favorite Norman festival for the people watching and silly costumes.  The boys love it because it offers something truly unique in the musical acts, throwing stars, archery tent, camel rides, mermaid lagoon, sword play and vendors selling wooden weapons.  However, the man powered tilt-a-whirl was missing this year…my guess is that one of the guys who turns the crank threw his back out the previous weekend and they couldn’t find someone to wear a pirate costume and perform manual labor for three days straight on short notice. 

Before we get started with the cute and crazy you may need a refresher course.  Check out previous Medieval Fair posts here and here.

Our first stop is always the archery tent.  Each year their Robin Hood skills get a little bit better, although this year someone’s arrow sailed right over the top of the building that the targets were propped up against and may or may not have landed near a crowd of people.  The perp shall remain nameless.  The boys were on the look out for wooden battle axes.  Thankfully we found the tent where we purchased wooden long swords the previous year and they had the desired axes.  The knife throwing and throwing star booth was very popular although Harry discovered that he has 5 year old throwing ability as opposed to the expert ninja skills he had imagined he might have.  Thankfully no little boys or carnies were injured while it was our turn.

This guy led a fun drum circle while trying to convince the audience that Medieval Jazz was a real thing.  Then he spend about 20 minutes telling us how it took him 30 years to learn to play the didgeridoo.  Just play the dang thing, already.

Now on the main attraction.  As always, the people watching and crazy costumes are top notch.  We attended on the final afternoon of the fair, along with every other person in central Oklahoma.  This has become a very popular fair so the crowds were a bit much so the ratio of regular dressed patrons to ridiculously dressed was not what I would call ideal.  There were more “normal” folk than those in costume so I don’t think I was able to capture the crazy as well as years past.  One word about the face black out…I put those there on purpose.  Since I’m making fun of strangers I feel that the least I can do is conceal their identity somewhat.  However, in the age of social media, smart phones and 4G we all should all come to realize that there is no such thing as real privacy and take that into account when traipsing out in public with nothing but boy shorts, corset and jingley coin sash..

Despite the crowds I was able to come away with some doozies.  See for yourself…

Remember what I just said about boy shorts and coin sashes? Fair game, sister.

These lovely ladies were right next to our first stop and it filled my heart with joy.  Then I saw bare feet.  BARE FEET.  At A HUGE FESTIVAL.  What the what?!  I know you want to try to be authentic but there is nothing authentic about needing to head to urgent care for a tetanus shot.

No, that is not a sheer blouse…that is her lily-white tummy.  I like to think that guy thinks she is the most beautiful gal at the fair (and if that is indeed the case, then she is the most beautiful gal at the fair) and that they picked out that red/orange plumage for his hat together.  Precious.

Don’t be fooled by the fantastic boobshelf in the foreground, the real treasure here is the Seinfeld pirate shirt and Lucky jeans.

I bet you didn’t know that Brienne of Tarth was making an appearance this year.  She was signing head shots in between the henna tatoo tent and celtic leather diary booth.  (Whilst fanning her skirt to get some air up in ye olde business.)

There is just so much happening here…half shaved head, blue makeup, neon billowy skirt.  But my favorite is the cat purse.  Where can I find a cat purse just like that?

While a drum circle may look cool, there is a reason even pot heads can master it.

Even if she passes out from lack of oxygen, at least she has her cat ears on.

“Excuse me shopkeep; you wouldn’t happen to have anything in leather, would you?”

Again with the bare feet.  No matter what incantations you chant or how much pink glitter you apply, those wings are not going to cause you to hover just over the filth.

Ladies, what a treasure.  Your daddy will be so proud when you bring him home to meet the folks.

Elf ears were a thing this year.  Apparently they are all the rage with pirate wenches.  That and big gulp iced tea.

The lady requires a noble steed to carry her over yon hill and dale.

It may be hella scratchy, but burlap will do in a pinch for a medieval costume.

“The babes are feeling this vibe”

Where else can you rock matching royal blue Damask outfits?

“Jesus, Mark, nerdy t-shirts are not costumes!” 

When your cell phone won’t fit inside your corset it may be a little too tight.

When are we going to finally see leather ale holders on the runway already?

@coolmom72 rockin the medi fair ’15 #ole #hazzah

Medieval be damned…Steam punk forever.

If Kenny Powers and Slayer had a love child together, this would be him.