Yes, you read that right. I’m entering the phase of parenting where we are talking to your kids about sex is a real thing. No longer is it off in the horizon where I don’t really need to think about it. This is real, people.
What?
Yes!
But your oldest is only 9!
I know, right?
It all started a couple of months ago when Addison was wondering how he and Dear Husband were actually related. He knew that he and his brother came out of me so we were definitely related. No doubt. But he and his brother did NOT come out of Dear Husband, sooooooo.
One thing led to another and before you know it Dear Husband is explaining the workings of how a baby is made. One of my fears is that he would hear all of this from some idiot 5th grader on the school playground and get his head filled with a lot of bazaar and not accurate information. One thing I knew for sure, he needed to hear it from us first.
Turns out it was a good thing we had this conversation. Since recording this chat show we had an interesting dinner conversation. It just so happens that one of the neighborhood friends that he hangs out with had a book stashed away and he and his buddies have been studying it; like their SAT scores depend on it. Before you gasp in horror, it was a legit birds and bees book that the parents had bought to teach their son about sex. We now know that page 13 is a very interesting page.
A few weeks ago when Mari from Mari Quite Contrary was here chatting about blogging, we also did a separate chat show about talking to your kids about sex. She has two kids, one of whom is entering tween-hood. Blegh. We had a great time sharing our stories. We want to hear yours. Have you had to have “the talk” with your kids?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BD7VhFapFL4
Chris Carter
BOTH my kids know everything. EVERYTHING. Details and all… now, as far as ‘arousal’ goes- notsomuch. But they know the detail of ‘what happens’ in order to make a baby and they know it is called sex. Oh, I could write pages on how both each in their own way- steered me into shelling out all the gory information. But I am SO glad they now know- for the same reasons you wanted yours to know!!! I HAD to be the one to tell them- not some fart on the playground. 😉
They know it is something that parents tell their kids, and to NOT share this information with others. I framed it with utmost respect and honor and was adamant about the purpose of its beautiful mission of creation, with a man and his wife. For now, that’s all they need to know at 10 and 8. There is SO much out there… I didn’t want them to be misled. That was my greatest fear.
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Stephanie Clinton
Good for you! We have tried really hard to not make this a shameful thing while still emphasizing that it is a VERY private thing. Then I feel the need to reiterate the lesson that nobody is to touch them. EVER (except the doctor and only when we are in the dr. room w/ them, etc) and that they need to let us know if something happens that makes them uncomfortable. Oh, parenting is hard.
The Funster
Stephanie,
We sat down with our two daughters when they were both around 9 or 10 and just explained to them about the basics of men and women, sex, and so forth. When my oldest daughter was about 13 I talked to her about what happens when you kiss a boy. She was shocked but understood. We continue to be very open about sex and when it’s appropriate. After this discussion, we were sitting with our daughters at the dinner table and told them we were considering mating our female golden retriever in order to get pups. Both our daughters with eyes wide open in unbelief explained to us that we couldn’t do that because the two dogs weren’t married so how could they have pups?! Yes it was very funny at the time but also very comforting in that both my girls understand the concept that sex comes with marriage. Anyway, really enjoyed reading your post! Thanks so much!
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Stephanie Clinton
That is so cute about your daughters being shocked that you would mate the dogs w/o them being married. Just goes to show that they are really listening to us…even when we don’t think they are paying attention. Thanks for watching!