I have a confession to make.  My attempt to keep up with the daily laundry for Lent has been abysmal.  By the third day I was already so far gone I figured that there was no way I could make it to the end of March.  Every single day I either think “I’m going to start anew.  I can do this!” or “I’m just going to forget about this whole stupid idea.  I can’t put away laundry.  I’m a complete Lent failure.”  Unfortunately, most days it’s the latter.  Thankfully God never gives up on me.

The other part of my personal Lent challenge, daily devotional, has been a little bit better than my laundry challenge.  One of the devotionals from last month connected with me.  Letting go.  As parents we really want to hold our little ones close, and that’s okay, especially when the world is such a scary place.  But if we hover and guard and don’t let them spread their wings they won’t ever learn to fly on their own.  In our spiritual lives if we keep our cards too close to our chest or don’t take a chance when we feel the Spirit move, we may never realize our potential.

The following is from Selena Wright

On the day my daughter was born, something broke (besides my water!)  A connection was broken.  There was a cord that linked us together; it was her lifeline for nine months and on the day that she and I yelled and pushed our way to new life, I had to let go.  I had to watch her dad cut the cord that connected us.  t had to happen, but I still grieved.

No more kicks, no more hiccups, and no longer would she belong to no one but me.  Yet that very cord that sustained her life would prohibit it.  The cord had to be cut so that her dad could take her for a walk, so that her grandma could bathe her, and her sister could hold her.  I didn’t want to let go when I thought of all that I would lose, our connection, my ability to keep her safe and warm, but it happened, when I consented to let go…it didn’t even hurt!  It seems the things we desperately want to hold on to can only truly bless us when we let them go.

There is much in all of our lives that we create or hold or carry, from ideas and energy to forgiveness and hope.  We get used to these things living inside us.  When they remain in our head or our hearts, we have control over them and they belong to us alone, but if we keep them too long, they will die.  They way of creation calls us to bring forth life and to let go.  For only when we give our gifts to the world, can those gifts live and grow!

It’s so easy to stuff good ideas back down before they made us move and do what’s right.  It’s easy to look the other way when we see something that quickens our spirit and says “do something before it’s too late!”  It’s easy to convince ourselves to hold on to our good ideas or our hurt or our forgiveness because letting go is hard.  Letting go means action and action takes work.  It’s so much easier to stay complacent or overly protective.  Like Selena Wright said; “Only when we give our gifts to the world, can those gifts live and grow.”

Is there anything you want to let go of?

It’s that time of year again…Lent.  Once again I struggled with what to give up or add.  I find it difficult to find things to “cut out” of my daily life.  I can’t really think of a vice or something that I would go nuts over if I couldn’t have it for 40 days (except pasta and/or blogging, but let’s not get crazy).  So, I try to think of things to add that will cause suffering and reflection.  I seriously considered making myself get up before 6 a.m. every morning but let’s be real here.  I would just be setting myself up for failure.  Thursday morning after Ash Wednesday the first thing I thought to myself as I had to drag myself out of bed at 6:50 a.m. in order to fix Addison’s lunch was Thank God I didn’t go for that get up early thing. That was stupid.  My next idea was to try to find time everyday to get outside and walk or exercise by myself.  I quickly brushed that idea aside as it’s still cold outside and I hate being cold.  Whenever I see people jogging in 40 degrees and wind I wonder what the hell is wrong with them.  Plus, when would I find time to get outside and exercise?  That would mean I would have to get up early.  Nope.  My next idea was to spend 40 days looking for the beauty around me and record my findings whether it be in pictures or a journal.  When I said it out loud it sounded lame so I went back to the drawing board.

I’ve finally settled on the same thing I’ve done for the past two years, reading a daily devotional.  I’ve found it to be thought-provoking and spiritually rewarding so I figured the method tried and true.  I mentioned above that my qualifications for adding something to my life are suffering and reflection. One may wonder how spending time each day in devotion can cause suffering.  I’m here to report that finding 30 quiet minutes to myself is a difficult if not impossible task.  Can I get an “amen sister” from my stay-at-home moms?  My 3-year-old doesn’t nap so I have to learn to tune out the sounds of Dora and Max & Ruby (where are their parents anyway?  I’m getting worried) if I want to spend any time in “quiet” reflection.  The temptation to hide oneself in the bathroom in order to get away from it all is great.  I wonder if Jesus felt this way.  Desert, toilet closet, little hands rattling the locked door, Satan tempting Jesus to prove himself.  I’m seeing similarities here.  It’s all in how you look at it.

I’m toying with the idea of making myself put away the clean laundry the same day it has been washed.  This may seem trivial to some but for me it could prove to be a real challenge.  I don’t know what it is about folding and putting away clean laundry but I. Hate. It.  And there is so much of it.  There are only 4 of us but why do we create so much damn laundry?  I keep wondering what women did before the convenience of a washer and dryer.  What did Caroline Ingalls do with those dusty shirts and layers of skirts?  What did Marmee and her little women do with all those petticoats and tight bodices?  I’ll tell you what they did.  They stunk.  They had smaller wardrobes and wore their clothes over and over and over before they had to wash it.  I guess they were used to the smell.  It’s something to consider.

What are you doing for Lent?  Adding or subtracting?