Fashion Tragedy

Recently I’ve been moving stuff around, getting rid of stuff, reorganizing stuff. When that happens I always unearth photos from my youth. Photos that make me reflect and make me think “what in the world was I wearing?”  Isn’t it fun to see the ebb and flow of fashion trends. What we thought was amazing 10 years ago is a joke now and people plan themed parties around it.

I love looking at old photos and relishing in the fashion tragedy. Let’s start with my eye wear as a kid. When I was in third grade I got glasses. I distinctly remember being excited about getting glasses because my best friend had glasses and now I could be like her. I remember going to the optometrist and picking out frames. I remember my mom asking if I was sure those were the frames I wanted. She was probably trying to figure out how to get me to change my mind but I had my mind set.

Take a look at these beauties

Oh dear. Why do my cheeks need a prescription too? This picture was taken at Kanakomo camp in 1987. Bless my heart.

Jump forward to 5th and 6th grade and I upgraded to some more fashionable lenses. Still giant on my face but a little more stylish.

Check out that sweet cat sweatshirt. Cats in mouse pajamas, you can’t get any more cute than that. This picture was taken somewhere around 5th grade. Let me just point out one thing. My hair is as has always been straight as a board. Just imagine all the night time foam rollers and curling ironing it took each morning to get this poof.

Two watches! Do you remember wearing multiple Swatch watches? Well, I did. Like a boss. And I poofed and feathered those bangs like a pro. It wasn’t long after this that my grandmother took pity on me and bought me my first set of contact lenses. I was visiting her for the summer and I’m sure she got sick of looking at those huge frames. One morning she pronounced that we were going to the eye doctor to get contacts. I’m pretty sure she did not call my parents (who were in another state) because she did what she wanted when it suited her. Why in the world would she have to ask my parents if I could get contacts? Clearly she was doing them and me a service.

Jump forward to high school. The days when we wore huge, boxy, 100% cotton t-shirts and tucked them into our Umbro shorts. There was no such thing as a lady cut t-shirt and polyester had not yet made it into the blend. Polyester was still for leisure suites and ladies work attire.

My bestie, Leslie, had this amazing Christmas outfit. It was an oversized, long-sleeved white shirt with white cotton pants. Sort of like leggings but not fitted. It looked like pajamas but it wasn’t pajamas. It was meant to be worn out in public, like a crazed Christmas lunatic. It was hand painted. Hand. Painted. All across the front and down one leg. It was incredible. I begged my mom to get an outfit similar to hers. Again, she looked at me sideways and said “Are you sure you really want this and that you’re going to wear it?” Of course I was going to wear it! For every Christmas from then until the end of time. Being a sucker for Christmas sweaters, she gave in.

Feast your eyes.

Oh my word. Look at those earrings that I probably bought at Maurice’s. Here I am contemplating Christmas’ to come and how awesome I will always look in this outfit.

Leslie and I loved our outfits so much and thought so highly of ourselves that we made Christmas photos cards and sent them to all of our friends. I can’t even.

My final fashion tragedy is not so much a tragedy as it is a warning to what is happening right now.

Overalls. Overalls are a thing and girls are wearing them.

Birkenstocks. Birkenstocks are super popular with the college kids right now. They even wear them with socks. I know this because our favorite babysitters wear Birkenstocks.

Kids, this picture was taken in 1995. The best part is, I still have this very pair of overalls. They have not touched my body in many, many years but I could pull them out right now and wear them…to Target…and look at the overalls they are selling there. These overalls are older than the girls who now think overalls are a good idea. Bless.

Here is BFF Leslie again, sporting her Birks with socks. Not good then. Not good now. Take it from us young ones; 40 year old women were wearing overalls and Birkenstocks with socks 20-something years ago. Do you really want to repeat history?

I’m sure in 15 years I will look at pictures and wonder what in the world I was thinking. I’m sure we’ll all be wondering why we thought leggings as pants was acceptable. In 20 years we might be saying “Remember Toms? I man, I loved Toms.” I’ll probably be wondering why I wore so many scarves, like I’m some sort of opera diva who needs to protect her vocal chords.

What is your favorite fashion tragedy? Don’t be shy, say it loud and proud.