Medieval Fair 2014

It’s that time of year again!  Medieval Fair!  If you read last year’s Medieval Fair post you will know that this fair is a highlight of my year.  The turkey legs, the crazy costumes, the corsets, the mermaids.  The fairy wings!  For the love, the fairy wings.   It’s all incredible.

This year the boys and I set off with BFF and another good friend and her kids to see what insanity the fair had in store for us.  It did not disappoint.  I went with the goal of finding the most crazy costumes and corset cleavage and boy, oh boy did I find some gems.  This year was boobalicious.  

We started the afternoon off at the food vendors.  I had a brisket baked potato as big as my plate with a big gulp worthy lemonade to wash it down.  Once I had that rock in my stomach I was ready to hit the archery tent and then ye olde tilt-a-whirl.

Since we had a little girl among our numbers we had to stop at every fairy wing and princess headband tent.  I didn’t mind that one bit because one of the tents had dragon wings.  This smart lady knew there would be moms of little boys out there who would love to put some sort of mythical wing on their kid.  When I saw these dragon wings I made a bee line to show Harry.  He was all over them.  

Best purchase of the day.

This year Addison announced that he was going to do the “big trampoline thingy”.  We didn’t do it last year and I think he has been planning this day ever since.  I paid the $8 then handed my first born over to a lady with several missing teeth to fit him for a harness.  These are carnies, folks.  No sugar coating it.  If you make a living by traveling around the state setting up and taking down a rickety thrill ride, live in a camper and operate on a cash only basis; you’re a carnie.  

So, I allowed a troupe of fair travelers to attached my child to several rubber bands and then fling him 50 feet in the air.  

His excitement was palatable.  He couldn’t stand still as he watched the kids in front of him bounce to heights that only someone with a death wish could dream of.  Red Bull should get in on this.

Beaming, super excited

Still really excited.

It only took one unintentional flip for the happiness to turn to terror.

 Not so much fun any more. 

Terrified

 Really ready to get off.

I was really proud of him.  He was clearly terrified but he kept it together throughout the whole experience.  Upon exiting the trampoline he let me know that he was about to pee his pants so we power walked it over to the port-a-potties.

Okay, now that we have dispensed with the family fun let’s move on to what we are really here for.  

Bring on the crazy.

Oh, hello Gandalf.  I’ll go with Middle Earth as an acceptable Medieval Fair fodder.

 Medieval fair chick holding a turkey leg.  Every nerd’s dream.

 Who needs an entire costume when you have a hat with 3 foot antelope horns?

You know what I love?  This woman’s confidence.  You go girl.

Now THAT’s what I’m talking about.

Somebody let this guy know that he’s missing most of his armor.  The jousting tourney is not going to go well for him.

 I think this girl was lost.  She obviously thought she was attending Comic Con but somehow found herself in the middle of a Renaissance festival in mid America.

Oooooooo a Medieval angel.  Please turn around, please turn around, please turn around…

 Oh, it’s a dude.  Even better.

The prize for most amazing fur trimmed bra goes to this gal.  I apologize for not having a better picture of this lovely lady.  I tried and tried to get a good shot of this magnificent costume, but it proved difficult.   Take my word for it when I say she was worthy of a call back for casting in Game of Thrones.

Don’t knock the child leash until you’ve had to keep track of a speedy toddler in a crowded place.  I’ve been there and I’ve used one.  There’s no shame here.  I just wish I had the Scottish outfit to complete the look.

   Two words:  Boob.  Shelf.

The family that geeks out together…well, you get the idea.

The Medieval Fair wouldn’t be complete with out a visit to the mermaids.

Here’s case of someone really wanting to dress up for the fair but not having access to a corset and billowy skirts.  Last year’s Halloween costume will do in a pinch.

 Punk festival, Medieval Fair.  Whatever.  Same difference.

And the Medieval Fair award goes to….

Holy Lanisters!  This couple was in it to win it.  Their Medieval motto is; go big or go home.  If that guy didn’t poke someone’s eye out before the weekend was over then I’m amazed.  

Until next year, keep your corsets laced up and your mead at room temp.