Homework – The Third Level of Hell

posted in: Kid stuff | 13

homework hell

You know what I hate?  Homework.  It friggin’ sucks.  It sucked when I was in school and I stayed up late trying to be as smart as my friends but couldn’t.  It sucks now.

Trying to help my third grader with homework is like listening to a baby cry and not being able to sooth it.  I know he is really smart; really, really smart. I KNOW it.  But when I ask him what 9 minus 1 equals and he just stands there and says uhhhhh, uhhhhh, phhhhhttttt, blllluuuubbbbb, uhhhhhhhhh, ffffffffuuuutttttt, poop, hehehehehe, uhhhhhhh.  After multiple attempts to get him to focus on the problem we are working on and reminding him for the umpteenth time that his 4 is backward and his 6 looks like a 2 I can’t take it any more.  What should be an encouraging, nurturing experience turns into a frustrating, angry 30 minute struggle that should have been done in less than 10 minutes.  I become so infuriated that I end up shouting: 8! THE ANSWER IS 8 FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.  I didn’t ask what the fox says, I asked you to answer a simple math problem.  You have no idea how hard it was for me to not add a god-damn-it to that rant as I am pushed over the homework edge.

When it’s all said and done I start to beat myself up.  I’m not doing a single thing right and making this torturous process even worse with my outbursts.  They often end with me storming away.  All I can think about is the homeschool moms  doing math problems with their kids and wondering if lessons devolve into screaming matches.  Surely not, those moms seem to have it all together.  Why in the world would they subject themselves to this insanity if they weren’t pros and never raised their voice?  Those moms would look down on me, shake their head in smug disdain as they prepared a gluten-free-organic-vegan meal from scratch, telling their 4 year old to set the table…in Latin.  And if they are not super mom then how does their little house on the prairie homeschool not turn into a craptastic fiasco?  If homeschooling were my only option I would probably be secretly cutting myself to dull the emotional pain I would be in knowing I was ruining my child’s intellectual well-being.  There are only so many times you can take them to the museum and it still be a legit learning experience.

You know what really give me indigestion?  Knowing that it won’t be long until I really can’t help him because the material will be over my head.   You may think…but you’re off the hook.  No sir.  Mom guilt doesn’t let anyone off the hook.  Now I get to feel guilty that just in case he does need my help, I can’t give it to him.

Please tell me I’m not alone in this.  Please tell me other parents have lost it over homework struggles.  Please tell me you just tell them the answer because you just can’t wait another eternity to figure out basic math.  Because if I’m the only one then I’m really going to feel like crap.

13 Responses

  1. I needed this so much tonight!! Thank you so much for literally making me laugh out loud!! I swear this described my homework math session with my twin sons–1ST GRADERS–today. I felt completely psychotic when I’d snap at them, realize it and then try to explain again while over-compensating with a creepy “too calm” voice because I didn’t want them to think I was angry at them. I just hope I can save enough money for their therapy bills someday–AND MINE!! 1ST GRADE math!! I am explaining 1ST GRADE math “wrong”—I am so so so up a creek without a paddle for 2nd grade. And the 2/6 and backwards 4 thing! My son does the EXACT same thing! I just went back and re-read it all again and am laughing all over again. You are NOT alone!!

  2. I GET IT I GET IT I GET YOU!!! This year has been easier so far.. but last year, and the year before that… and the year before that…

    I would start out all sweet with my “teacher/mom encouraging patient voice” and go zero to TEN in about five minutes. You described it PERFECTLY!!!!

    WHAT THE WHA???!!!! I hear ya momma. Oh, do I hear ya.

    Hate it hate it hate it.
    And I KNOW my kids don’t act that way at school- why can’t they focus with ME?? Drives me BAT SHIZ CRAZY!!!!

    • I’m so glad you get it too. So good to hear. I get reports from the teacher about how bright he is and how well he did on this or that and I think “are we talking about the same child?”

  3. Martha Roberts

    Breathe…

  4. I totally get you! I am a teacher also, so it sucks on both sides. I hate grading homework! The fourth level of hell is being a teacher in the same grade as your kid. Then you not only get to teach it all day to your class, but then you get to do it all over again when you go home and have to fight it out with your kid.

  5. We are CRYING with laughter reading this post out loud to each other over the phone! It is honestly just SO FUNNY because it is SO TRUE!! Between us, we have four children, and you have just completely nailed it. And the picture made us BURST out laughing! Off to share this RIGHT NOW! :)-The Dose Girls

    • Thanks for sharing. 😉 It’s amazing how this has rung true with so many parents. It’s nice to know we’re all in this boat together. No oars and we’ve sprung a leak, but at least we’re all going down together!

  6. Oh honey; you are so not alone! I’ve been living in this particular circle of hell for a while now, and to be sure, it ain’t for the faint of heart. Yes, I said “ain’t.” Don’t judge. I’m off the clock. 😉

  7. […] what I was holding up.  Homework.  So this is what I have been relegated to…the homework Nazi.  That about sums it up because that is what I feel like.  Out of all of my rolls; […]

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