Is 3 the new 2?

When I was little I would sit around with my friends and we would dream what our lives would be like.  Would we be stay at home moms or career women? Would our husband be a tall, dark and handsome Scott Baio type, suave and refined like Ricky Schroder or fair and scrappy like Corey Haim? One thing we all agreed on was that we wanted 2 kids and a dog.  There was always one little girl who would boldly proclaim that she wanted 3 kids.  3 kids?! What in the name of cabbage patch was she thinking?  We all looked at her in wonder and awe, as if the idea of having 3 or more children was a vocation for the very special.  Clearly this was something that “the Lord” “called” her to do, because who would want to have 3?  We secretly prayed that the Lord would not call us to have more than 2 kids, lest we have to answer his call.

Now looky here, I have the 2 kids, a dog and a husband of the Ricky Schroder variety.  We have talked about whether or not we should have a third child but we feel like we have a good thing going here and should leave well enough alone.  One of the reasons we even entertained the thought of a third child is that it seems like 3 is the new 2.  I have several friends who have 3 or more children.  Not that there is anything wrong about that, if you want to be outnumbered, that is just fine…have fun and God bless.  

However, I get this feeling sometimes that I’m not living up to the mom standard because I only have two kids.  Is this just a bi-product of the “mom guilt” and mommy wars” that comes along with everybody airing their business online?  Sometimes I feel like by only having two kids I’m not being a responsible citizen by not contributing to the population of future responsible citizens.  Should I do my part to counterbalance the Duggars of the world? Is having three or more kids the new norm?  Am I the only one who feels this way or are there others out there?  Is this just my own neurosis causing me to make something out of nothing? 

Last weekend I decided to take some time for myself and just sit on the couch a read…all afternoon.  It was glorious.  As I was sitting there with my fuzzy socks and hot tea it occurred to me that if I had a baby or toddler in addition to my two boys, there wouldn’t be much time for lounging around.  My boys are old enough where they can entertain themselves (for the most part) and I can go long stretches (and by long stretches I mean two episodes of Teen Titans Go) without being disturbed.  I actually thought to myself how nice it was that I didn’t have to change any diapers or keep a toddler out of the cabinets.  Is that selfish of me?  Is it selfish to relish in the fact that I don’t have to sooth a fussy baby?  I do get moments of longing for toothless grins, fat thighs and tiny toes but when that happens I find a friend with a baby and snuggle hers.

I love Jim Gaffigan.  He makes me feel good about my decision to stick with two.




2 Responses

  1. Chris Carter

    I also have a lot of friends that have that ‘three’ of more… this is an interesting insight Stephanie. I never thought about it being the ‘in thing’- but I wonder!

    Who is Jim Gaffigan? Was that a video you had at the end? It said the plugin has crashed. Just fyi! 🙂
    Chris Carter recently posted…I Am What I Am, And I am EnoughMy Profile

    • Stephanie Clinton

      Ohmygosh, you would LOVE Jim Gaffigan. Not sure why it wouldn’t play for you. Try again, or just go youtube him.

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