Recently I was cleaning out Addison’s backpack. A dangerous past time but it must be done. He must have recently cleaned out his desk at school because it was full of papers. I came across a poster size “All About Me” assignment that the teacher must have given earlier in the year. You know the one…asking you to list your hobbies, pictures of your family, your pets, favorite games, etc. A typical get-to-know-you exercise for elementary kids. In the bubble asking to draw a family portrait this little beauty resides:
Hummmm…if ever I wondered what my 10 year old thought of our family, mystery solved. Let’s break this down, shall we?
Harry is on the far left with sharp, pointy teeth. See how he is kicking Addison’s chair? It could not be more clear that little brother is viewed as an intrusive monster whose sole purpose is to bug the crap out of him.
Next is Addison, sitting at the computer. Blank, almost annoyed expression on his face. As if to say, leave me alone, you all are crazy and annoying. All I want to do is play Minecraft and watch videos about Minecraft. I have no time for the rest of you. I will call upon you when I need something…like food…or to complain about how unfair life is because of my lack of electronic devices.
Next up is yours truly. I asked what I was holding up. Homework. So this is what I have been relegated to…the homework Nazi. That about sums it up because that is what I feel like. Out of all of my rolls; nutritious meals every single flipping night, whatever, he won’t eat it anyway. Volunteering at school, meh, any good mom would do that. Story time at bed, yeah, I guess that is pretty good. All of that and what it comes down to is evil, red eye, lipstick screaming, homework brandishing taskmaster.
On the far right is Dear Husband who seems to be the only neutral party here. Hanging out by himself with a happy, carefree grin on his face. I would guess that Dear Husband partly agrees with this assessment. In the off-broadway play that is our family drama he has often expressed that he feels like part of the supporting cast. I try to tell Addison that without Daddy everything would fall apart (mostly because without him I would check myself in) but apparently I’m too busy frantically flipping through the multiplication flash cards to get the message across.
This is how he sees us. I guess I would rather be the homework Nazi mom rather than the soft pushover mom. So, yup, this about sums it up.
I’ll be sitting backstage awaiting my Mom of the Year award in case anybody needs me.